Monday, March 23, 2015

I am a working mom and you have a problem with that??

What prompted this post?? Lately have been hurled by a series of articles glorifying stay at home mothers. So do I have a problem with it? Absolutely not. Cheers to you! Then what is the problem?? STOP slandering working mothers as money minded or who don’t love their children as much as SAHM( stay at home mothers) and the ones who use their parents to take care of their own children! Grand parents brutality?( this is new!!)
Today early morning made the mistake of opening a link a relative (SAHM) had shared.. It was written by a man supposedly a “proud” husband of a SAHM and a father to a daughter.. He went on and on not just defending his wife’s choice( I have no problems with that) but degrading working moms to the extent of comparing them to devil wears prada! First of all , hello! You are setting a great example to your daughter degrading random women. The karma cycle will come and bite your pompous egoistic A*** I am sure!
And so today I have taken up the onus of writing for the battered yet unappreciated yes unappreciated working moms! Who not only slave at home also office!
First personally about me, I am a working mom, yet to rejoin office after my second child.. I love my children to death! YET I am looking forward to get back to my office! Does that make me a bad mother?? Who is to judge that? You? The husband of a SAHM?? Iam glad my husband sits like a Buddha when I, at tiring times declare I will quit my job and also continuous to sit like a Buddha when I declare I cant wait to get back. He knows to respect women, I am proud of that. I would be thoroughly embarrassed if my husband just to make me feel better writes a degrading article praising me and running down SAHM. Thanks Karthik! Hope my sons emulate you in that aspect.( ok ok now stop preening so much!)
SO is it easy being a working mom? Ye get up in the morning dump the kids to your parents or caretakers wear your perfume and high heels and drive out??? If this was your idea of a working mothers I am sorry to break your bubble of the “only a SOHM is great sacrificing martyr”
I work my b*** off at home and work sometimes sleeping just 2-3 hrs,take full responsibility of my children once I am home keeping everything from a diaper to a kerchief to sterilized bottles to fresh clothes to books to fresh food etc so that my parents or inlaws do not have much trouble the next day.
And I agree not all grandparents are waiting to take care of their grandchildren 24x7.. They have their own life and I respect them for that.. My dad and my mother in law might fall into this category ,who lead an active life out of home. YET my father in law and my mother are ever ready and waiting to spend as much time they can with their grandchildren… for them its not a job , its what they love and I am thankful to god I have them in my life!
So is working mother money minded? Yes and no!extra money never hurt anybody. IF today I can buy something for my children without a second thought without asking my husband its coz I have MY money, And yes let me be honest not just for my children,I am super proud of the diamond earrings in my ears for which I paid a bomb. Yes I bought it, not my husband not my father or father in law or my son. Its my hard earned money and I am damn proud of it! Similar feeling or maybe even better is when I am changing a dirty diaper of my younger boy and same time shouting “yee Iam comingggg” to my elder boy who is waiting in the bathroom to get his bum cleaned!!.. oh ye I have two babies and I am a super proud mom. Iam a super super happy and proud mother and me working outside home or not has nothing to do with that aspect of my life!
But is it only money which motivates me to go to work leaving my children behind? No never. Money or no money I need my personal space.. Anybody saying otherwise is lying. Even if its 10 mins or 10 hrs. I need my space. Having my space and me alone time makes me a better person, a confident human. It then translates to being a better mother better wife and better daughter.. As long as we are not happy, being a stay at home or working we are not doing any thing right.. There is no point in being a miserable low on confidence stay at home mother. Just the way there is no point in being a working mother if you are miserable at work and come home and continue being in a bad mood.
If SAHM suffer from a sense of unworthiness( or so I have been told,I am sorry if its wrong) working mothers suffer from bouts of guilt( oh ye, oh ye! I can vouch for it). I still remember the time when I left my elder son for the 1st time when he was around 1 and half, for a work trip for 2-3 days. I burst out crying in the airport, prompting authorities to come and ask me if I need medical help! Yes, I wanted to say: I need a psychiatrist!!
Finally it boils down to this.. let everyone who has a opinion on our lives go to hell.. I mean it, mainly that guy who prompted me to write this.. its wonderful you love your wife, stick to it, you don’t have to deride someone else's to prove your wife is great. Let everyone who thinks they can comment on us go to hell. If you are HAPPY stay at home mom, kudos to you. If you are HAPPY working mom, more power to you!! If you are a HAPPY woman who doesn’t feel the need to have kids, cheers to you too! In the end happiness is all that matters. If I am happy doing what I am , what’s your problem? Who is anyone to judge?
Cheers to us women, let us not let anyone influence our thoughts.. let us not let anyone make us feel guilty..and last but not least, lets not pull down each other to make ourselves feel great. We are doing a great job, either-wise.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

2009

Ok, so its another year.. It arrived without much fanfare in my life. No staying up late till the clock struck twelve. Nope I hit the bed at 10 and next morning woke up to realize it’s a “new year”.. It dint feel any different. I dint have any new year resolutions planned up or anything.. Either I have grown old ..NO not old!! , maybe I am no longer in that school girl kind of excited stage of life, where we break into happy laughter and new dreams at the thought a brand new year..

The only thing in my mind is, “god there is so much to be done”! and the time is just slipping away.. No I am not one of those super busy woman juggling office, a career, home and kids. Nope. All I do is go to office, wait for the clock to strike 5pm , get back home and plonk myself on the bed with a book. So I guess it is now obvious that there is lot to be done.

I dint on purpose have a resolution this year. It sucks when I break it or it doesn’t get fulfilled. So this year, no unachievable resolutions nor hoping for stuff beyond my capacity to achieve.. Just a few things which will improve my life IF I stop being a little bit lazy and a few hopes which obviously god has to sanction.. So no undue pressure on myself.. So hoping this year turns out to be a normal simple happy one with a few positive changes at least.. and yes hoping my faith in my god grows stronger day by day.


WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 :)))))

Thursday, November 20, 2008

BLAH- yet again.

How much of whining and complaining and brooding is too much? When should one feel “ OK now it’s enough” and move on to other things in life?. Lately have been brooding over small things a lot.. Oh, why was she rude? OR oh why do I have to wait for the bus so long, its not fair, ,OR an unkind word told by someone, OR when I get cheated while buying some stuff OR situations like mom asking me to help her with something when I am dead tired OR a huge chunk of work being directed to me in office because some people are on a holiday and this has to be done immediately..

Many random things like that.. Donno if lately I have started observing these things more closely and its not that big a deal OR I am very unlucky and being subjected to more of them lately.. whatever it is, I am finding it difficult to comprehend, analyze and finally let go.. I end up sitting for hours at times and feel bad about it.. and you being expected to be an agony aunt for a friend at the same time when you are so confused, can take a higher toll on you like its happening to me right now!...

Each time I am like “have I worried about it enough? Is it ok, if I just forget about it and get back to watching kasam se in zee?”.. Its another thing that the main protagonist of the serial is another cry baby whining away to glory which brings me back to square one!...

And being the type who rarely forgets things, its making it more difficult to come out of this web which I find myself in ...

Maybe, my life long philosophy of not forgetting bitter things because they have taught me a lesson is not the right thing after all.. Is it insecurity, which makes us cling to the unpleasant things in life? From a simple, “the co- passenger in the bus stamped my foot on purpose” to a fallout with a close friend?. I guess I should rethink about this “not forgetting” habit of mine and let go unpleasant stuff which have happened in life… seems like I am not giving enough time and attention to the good ones.. After all its the good things which makes us happy and its imperative that I give it more importance..

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

LOVE... Tagged!

I am tagged. To be honest I dint know what it is to be tagged, until I read a post in my friend flying high’s blog some time back.. Read it here .

Its one the most hilarious things I have ever read and that made me like the thing “tagged”.. and now she has tagged me! for another one though.

My first tag..BUT its on *cough cough* LOVE.. There lies the problem the topic.. Well denying it would be silly. So I decided to face it .. So here goes. There are some rules listed below..Iam not changing any question.. Will just do this. But I am breaking one of the rules.. I am not tagging 6 but 3.Here’s one of my very honest write ups. Hope I don’t get into trouble for this!..

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
Denial. At first I would try to convince myself that he hasn’t done anything wrong. When I come to my senses and realize its true, it would really depend on the extent of betrayal and the situation and also if he is repentant or not. I might walk out or stay back with him. Even if I may forgive, I rarely forget.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
A small thatched house on the top of an isolated hill with my loved one.

3. If you could, whose butt would you like to kick?
Lots of them! Cant name them here. Sshhh!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Buy an entire rain forest, see the entire world. Keep a substantial amount in the bank. And donate the rest.( the causes I support- food and education for all children)


5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Either you fall in love with your best friend or make the person you love as your best friend. There is no other go according to me. Its impossible to have a best friend( a boy) and another lover. That’s a whole load of crap.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both. Though I prefer being loved obviously! Loving someone isn’t easy. Most of the time it will be just infatuation. When you realize you love someone truly, the feeling is awesome too.You feel blessed.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
I will wait long enough, if he has a valid reason.


8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Mind my own business and leave him alone.

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Social cause..Hmm I know giving money is easy, but giving one's time is very important.But still, I do in my very little way every year give a part of my money to a cause I support which I have already mentioned in question 4. Children's education and food.. Seeing a malnourished child and a kid not studying for the want of money depresses me a lot.

10. Do you lie?
Yes I do. Silly ones though.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
10 years from now, I hope to see myself much saner and calmer.Hopefully as a mother and more importantly happy where ever I am.

12. What’s your fear?
Being deserted by the people important to me, including my god.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Flying high- My best friend. A girl who is one of the smartest person I have ever known in my life. She is funny, witty, practical and great person to know. Sometimes I am just glad she is there in my life even if I dont speak to her for days. That says a lot I guess.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
I don’t like this question. I want to be married and rich. :P

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
Naaah, not my kinda situation. Iam not in school. Baah!

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Yes, it’s a complete relationship only when you do that.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Forgive I might.. I will.. Wont promise that I will forget.. I don’t usually.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Being in a relationship of course..It might come with its baggage, adjustments and problems, but it has its beautiful moments too. The feeling of knowing that someone loves you, cares for you even if they themselves are a pain is awesome!

19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

The title track of “Main hoon na”.. No song has touched me in that way and that deep.
I think that song sums up this tag.. after all each person is looking for someone who would sing that for them aren’t they? :)


Iam tagging these 3 people

1. Its high time you started blogging again. And more importantly your blog can do with a lighter topic like this one.
politically incorrect

2. Lets get some conservative views on Love ;)
Sharada

3. Lets get some amazingly interesting views on love!
gourment santist

you three guys have to write. No breaking rules!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

BACK!

After a looong hiatus I am back..Muahaha!. Don’t u ask "so who missed you"?.People did! Like friends SG n SR.More importantly I missed my blog.. Sigh…:(..... I took a break in June...Reason- Birthday blues. Was supposed to be back soon but things got a bit messy in life and the rough times dragged on..

Anyway's all’s well that ends well. :)

So here am, quite happy and glad to be back.. One more reason to be back is coz I am tagged!.. for the 1st time that too and I want to play the game, so back in business people!

Missssssssssssssssssssed u moi blogyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

ADVANTAGE

The best thing about getting drenched in the rain is that you dont have to hide your tears.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

SRK and me

SC said excitedly “Had been to Eden gardens yesterday, to watch the kolkata knight riders match!. Wow! what a match it was!!! Shoaib was….” .”How was SRK? Is he cute? I interrupted. who wants to know what Shoaib did??.. baah!..
”Cute I donno..But he is handsome for sure”he replied.. Aaargh! Boys have this thing for the word cute!.. Its associated with silliness and girly. But handsome? Oh ye bring it on!..

“Ok all right not cute, handsome. But how can you say that? He must have been quite far” I questioned “NO we could see him pretty well. He was near the boundary line cheering and dancing all the time” SC explained…

Hmm SRK..I went back to my 1st memories of SHAH RUKH KHAN.. It must have been him in those TV serials almost 2 decades back when I was a small kid.. Though I don’t remember anything much, I do remember he was damn attractive and a lively figure inside the idiot box.. And since I was too young to designate him as cute or handsome, I let him be. But still when I looked at him, there was some sort of happy connection.

Fast fwd to the early nineties, when SRK was doing movies like Baazigar, Anjaam and all that.. I never completely sat through any movie, and only listened to what people around me, friends etc had to say.. "God he is so scary in Anjaam and Baazigar" a friend had exclaimed.. None of my friends actually liked him then.. They liked the chocolate boy Aamir Khan.. I still remember SR, SN, AK going gagaga over him.. I never really liked him, he was always a bit too short for my taste :P… During that weird SRK time, I happened to watch a movie Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman long after it was released.... and I fell!.. I mean for SRK! :D.. He was so cute, so real, so true, so awesome..And a SRK fan was born!..

Iam not a SRK fan in the true sense. I don’t watch all his movies the day it hits the theatres. I have watched only a handful of his movies completely from the beginning to the end.. I have watched Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam, 9,3,1 yr after they were released respectively!.. Not a record which a true SRK fan holds I am sure. But ye I had been reading about him, his interviews in magazines, watching his songs and all that.

SONGS! - Reminds me, that his songs play a major role in my admiration towards him.. Be it “tujhe dekha toh ye jana sanam” from DDLJ which happens to be according to me one of the most romantic songs ever.. And nobody could have carried it out that well other than SRK.. And when he sings “kal ho na ho”(ye I know its your voice sonu, I like you too!) I always cry..

When he sings “Main hoon na”… I always pray to God that the guy I end up with in life, should sing me the same song and mean it!!..

Post DDLJ, SRK changed.. He was no longer known for his negative roles and all that.. He became Rahul and I loved him for that..

He has won many acting awards for his movies. But my all time favourite scenes which I call” only SRK and nobody else could do it half as well” scenes are

1.The last scene in Devdas,when Aishwarya comes running through the corridors of the haveli with her pallu on fire towards a dying SRK who is lying beneath the tree. I cry every time I see it, and every time I feel like unlocking the gate and letting Paro meet Devdas just one last time before he died.. SRK has done the scene so well; my heart goes out for him. Sniff! :(

2.All the scenes in Yes boss where he tries to help his boss score over Juhi even though he is so hopelessly in love with her. Even here too I feel like entering into the movie myself and telling Juhi ” duffer the boss is a bad man, SRK is the one who loves you truly!” :(

3.In Kuch Kuch Hota Hai - the scene where he is seen consoling Kajol after he and others made fun of her mini skirt and make up, when she was trying to ape Rani and look beautiful like her. OK not exactly that scene, but the way oh! the way he grabs Rani’s hand when she starts walking away from them while still holding Kajol. Oh! So sweet!! :D

4. Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam - the scene where he goes to tell Kajol that he can’t marry her coz he cannot displease his dad. He goes there only to see her dad was dead and she and her sister are all alone now.. The way he places his hand over her head and without saying anything but which conveys everything she needs to know.. sniff sniff!! :( :( so beautiful

5.Ok this can go on and on but let me just mention my most favourite scene- Chak De India. When India scores the winning goal against Australia and everybody erupt shouting with joy, he quietly leans back with tears in his eyes looking skywards!.. Oh god that scene is so so real!.. I bet nobody on earth could carry it off so well!

Be it, his acting as a ruthless man in Don or hilariously stupid behavior in Duplicate and Badshah, or as the typical lover boy in Chalte chalte.. He is the best in everything.. Every single damn thing!!

Apart from his singing, dancing, acting, I like him best for what he is outside the reel world. His love and regard for his parents, his love and devotion for his wife and children. I love the fact that Gauri is his 1st and only girlfriend and now his wife. Having a good loyal personal life is very important to me. I think in this he scores those brownie points compared to the “divorced how many times no idea” actors out there. He been a great husband and a father makes me like him even more :)..

I like him for the fact he is a self made man. With no star father or a surname he can boast off!.. It’s a different thing that the “Khan” name has become something to be reckoned with, thanks to him!..

Ok don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that actors with star dad or mom are not be liked coz they are not self made.. In fact my other favourite’s the Deol men are that only!.. And I love them unconditionally!

But there is some sort of unknown connection with SRK which happens.. He looks more real, more believable when he smiles, cries, sings,talks and laughs.. He looks vulnerable and maybe that’s what makes him so special!

This one’s for you SRK.. You are the best! Love you loads!! :)