I am a working mom and you have a problem with that??
What prompted this post?? Lately have been hurled by a series of articles glorifying stay at home mothers. So do I have a problem with it? Absolutely not. Cheers to you! Then what is the problem?? STOP slandering working mothers as money minded or who don’t love their children as much as SAHM( stay at home mothers) and the ones who use their parents to take care of their own children! Grand parents brutality?( this is new!!)
Today early morning made the mistake of opening a link a relative (SAHM) had shared.. It was written by a man supposedly a “proud” husband of a SAHM and a father to a daughter.. He went on and on not just defending his wife’s choice( I have no problems with that) but degrading working moms to the extent of comparing them to devil wears prada! First of all , hello! You are setting a great example to your daughter degrading random women. The karma cycle will come and bite your pompous egoistic A*** I am sure!
And so today I have taken up the onus of writing for the battered yet unappreciated yes unappreciated working moms! Who not only slave at home also office!
First personally about me, I am a working mom, yet to rejoin office after my second child.. I love my children to death! YET I am looking forward to get back to my office! Does that make me a bad mother?? Who is to judge that? You? The husband of a SAHM?? Iam glad my husband sits like a Buddha when I, at tiring times declare I will quit my job and also continuous to sit like a Buddha when I declare I cant wait to get back. He knows to respect women, I am proud of that. I would be thoroughly embarrassed if my husband just to make me feel better writes a degrading article praising me and running down SAHM. Thanks Karthik! Hope my sons emulate you in that aspect.( ok ok now stop preening so much!)
SO is it easy being a working mom? Ye get up in the morning dump the kids to your parents or caretakers wear your perfume and high heels and drive out??? If this was your idea of a working mothers I am sorry to break your bubble of the “only a SOHM is great sacrificing martyr”
I work my b*** off at home and work sometimes sleeping just 2-3 hrs,take full responsibility of my children once I am home keeping everything from a diaper to a kerchief to sterilized bottles to fresh clothes to books to fresh food etc so that my parents or inlaws do not have much trouble the next day.
And I agree not all grandparents are waiting to take care of their grandchildren 24x7.. They have their own life and I respect them for that.. My dad and my mother in law might fall into this category ,who lead an active life out of home. YET my father in law and my mother are ever ready and waiting to spend as much time they can with their grandchildren… for them its not a job , its what they love and I am thankful to god I have them in my life!
So is working mother money minded? Yes and no!extra money never hurt anybody. IF today I can buy something for my children without a second thought without asking my husband its coz I have MY money, And yes let me be honest not just for my children,I am super proud of the diamond earrings in my ears for which I paid a bomb. Yes I bought it, not my husband not my father or father in law or my son. Its my hard earned money and I am damn proud of it! Similar feeling or maybe even better is when I am changing a dirty diaper of my younger boy and same time shouting “yee Iam comingggg” to my elder boy who is waiting in the bathroom to get his bum cleaned!!.. oh ye I have two babies and I am a super proud mom. Iam a super super happy and proud mother and me working outside home or not has nothing to do with that aspect of my life!
But is it only money which motivates me to go to work leaving my children behind? No never. Money or no money I need my personal space.. Anybody saying otherwise is lying. Even if its 10 mins or 10 hrs. I need my space. Having my space and me alone time makes me a better person, a confident human. It then translates to being a better mother better wife and better daughter.. As long as we are not happy, being a stay at home or working we are not doing any thing right.. There is no point in being a miserable low on confidence stay at home mother. Just the way there is no point in being a working mother if you are miserable at work and come home and continue being in a bad mood.
If SAHM suffer from a sense of unworthiness( or so I have been told,I am sorry if its wrong) working mothers suffer from bouts of guilt( oh ye, oh ye! I can vouch for it). I still remember the time when I left my elder son for the 1st time when he was around 1 and half, for a work trip for 2-3 days. I burst out crying in the airport, prompting authorities to come and ask me if I need medical help! Yes, I wanted to say: I need a psychiatrist!!
Finally it boils down to this.. let everyone who has a opinion on our lives go to hell.. I mean it, mainly that guy who prompted me to write this.. its wonderful you love your wife, stick to it, you don’t have to deride someone else's to prove your wife is great. Let everyone who thinks they can comment on us go to hell. If you are HAPPY stay at home mom, kudos to you. If you are HAPPY working mom, more power to you!! If you are a HAPPY woman who doesn’t feel the need to have kids, cheers to you too! In the end happiness is all that matters. If I am happy doing what I am , what’s your problem? Who is anyone to judge?
Cheers to us women, let us not let anyone influence our thoughts.. let us not let anyone make us feel guilty..and last but not least, lets not pull down each other to make ourselves feel great. We are doing a great job, either-wise.
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