Back in the driver’s seat.

I learnt driving way back in my late teens when I was still in college. My parents never allowed me to ride two-wheeler, so I had to learn driving. I was a pretty good driver. A confident one. I have driven almost in all kinds of roads. In Bangalore traffic, the narrow overcrowded fast moving Mangalore – Udupi highway, or the straight 6 lane highway en route to Chennai and except a few hairpin bends, I have even driven most of the shiradi ghat route right from sakleshpura to subramanya post in the western ghats. My most favorite one till date is the 3 hr drive which I did from coimbatore to chamarajnagar near Mysore , through the ghat sections of the sathyamangala forest area..infamous for veerappan and his associates.. ofcourse veerappan was long dead, but the route though breathtaking was eerie! But around a year and a half back I had an accident. OK not that serious or anything, just the taillight of the car got broken. But more importantly my confidence was shattered.. It happened, in the crowded JC road in Bangalore sometime around 10pm.. I was speeding as usual, when the traffic light slowly turned yellow. The car behind , a doctor probably thought I am going to jump it and not stop since I was speeding, decided to follow me. I dint jump but I manged to slow down and applied brakes. He came and dashed breaking his car’s taillights which resulted in small bump in our car.. a fight followed, my dad and him.. then both of them shouting at the top of their voices got back to our own ways.. nothing really changed, except for me.. I have never driven in Bangalore again and outside not more than 20km at a stretch.. The confidence I had was completely lost..

Last Friday, my parents decided that we should visit sringeri and horanadu on weekend. I was in no mood.. I was very troubled the Friday evening, that given a choice and I would have just shut my eyes and fallen asleep never to wake up again, just so to put an end to the thoughts troubling me. But no it wasn’t to happen. Sat morning at 5am mom woke me up and we got ready to for our weekend trip. Sringeri which is around 350kms from bangalore is my maternal grandmother’s place so mom was quite upbeat and happy about it.. I sat at the back with my sister sulking, sniffing and crying every 5 Min's on the journey.. ye nobody nowadays asks me, why I cry at home, coz now they are tired of it!.. 3 hours later dad stopped at a kamath restaurant in the NH_48 for breakfast.. after eating a pathetic plate of idly we came back to the parking lot to resume our journey to horanadu which was a good 4-5 hrs from there. Suddenly I told my dad, “I will drive”.. I heard 3 voices in unision- are u sure?… I was.. All I could do was sit at the back and think and feel sad n bad about the previous evening’s stuff,, which dint deserve my time or was it worth it, and just overcome my fear and regain back the confidence I had lost a few yrs back and drive.. Dad handed over the key to me.. I sat in the drivers seat.. and the other 3 of the them sat just like how a science geek sits in the physics class taught by his favourite teacher.. with FULL attention… I started the car, needed to go reverse so as to to move away from the parking lot.. “Do u know how to go reverse??” my mom asked me.. I knew of course but 3 people watching my every move made me nervous. I have this habit of talking and cuddling inanimate objects too.. so I did that now. I told our car ”sweetie help me please” and blew a flying kiss.. it worked :)..

I was on my way.. for the next 20 mins I was like a student.. Though my sister doesn’t drive and my mom only rarely they all pitched in to teach me how to drive.. “slow down!!, change the gear!!, come to 2nd gear! Look in the rear view mirror, u went too close to the cyclist” n stuff.. slowly my sister and dad relaxed.. I could hear my dad snoring too.. While mom wasn’t yet ready to give up.. sitting next to me, she continued with her tirade. I even hit 100km/hr once, before my mom bent and saw the speedometer and let out a howl.. “Take your leg off the accelerator she ordered!”.. I did.. There’s no cheating my mother..

We reached chikmaglur and I stopped at a café coffee day for a treat I sponsored! My mom said the same dialogue she says everytime she is in one, though this was probably only her third time.. “God this place!! , drinking one coffee here is equal to buying 4 litres of milk”!! :D.. That didn’t stop her from ordering one for herself!

Soon we were on our way back from the stopover, my dad went towards the drivers seat.. I wasn’t done yet.. “appa I will drive myself” I told him.. “Are u sure? The roads are going to get narrower and bumpier now.lots of pot holes and its ghat section now”.. he said.. No I will.. I said firmly.. He went back and happily went back to his siesta, so did my sister.. Mom sat with me in front, still her faith in me was much lesser than dad’s and sister’s... she continued for a few minutes.. at one point she said the following sentence in English not kannada and I quote- “let the cow pass, let the car pass, and now you pass”!!:))))) soon she gave up.. and started reading the newspaper.. It felt great to see my family trust me and my driving.. More importantly it felt great coz I was trusting myself.. I had regained my self confidence back, which I had lost , completely lost.. the drive was beautiful.. narrow roads, filled with blind curves, and road was similar to the way a snake slides on the ground.. we went rite through the malnad region famous for its coffee and arecanut plantations.. there was a valley below and river gushing by.. I told my mom about it, and she shocked told me, that she will see the view and I should see the road!…
Not all the drive I was a perfect driver, the locally made road humps were difficult.. at one point which included a blind curve and road hump,, I abruptly stopped, dismayed, coz rite in front of me was a huge KSRTC bus! Since it was a blind curve I hadn’t seen him.. I sheepishly looked up at him.. he was an elderly driver who for a change looked down kindly at me a lady driver and said “parvagilla hogamma”( its ok, u go dear! ) and waited until I started the vehicle and went past him giving him one of my best smiles! :))) … I was driving for almost 4 hrs now, my arms and legs were aching.. and also my stomach was churning due the roads which was like a snake.. Still something inside made me stick on.. I stopped only when we reached the picturesque Horanadu and myself parked( I suck at parking) the vehicle where the parking attendant told me to! Got down elated, happy and contended… I had driven for almost 170kms at one go!

Everything else went on well in the trip, paid obeisance to god at both places, all in all had a good time.. drove for a couple of hours on our way to Bangalore too..

The highlight of the trip was the sighting of a huge blackest of black king cobra in the wild!!.. It happened when I was sleeping in the back back and dad was driving,..
Before this a background- if there are 100 people in the room and one ant, I would be one of those people who would have noticed the ant. I am good at observing.. EXCEPT snakes in the wild.. I have never been able to see snakes in the wild.. I would have somehow missed it while all those along with me would have spotted it. Especially my mom who unlike me is petrified of them and gets them in her dreams.. so it was the 1st time I spotted one in the wild! There it was crossing the road in all its glory while we watched stunned.. we were in its territory.. in the forests of western ghats.. and there it was .. so big, so long so black.. it hurried away and I felt happy.. i associate the sighting as a good omen :)))
It was a good weekend..it helped me in 2 ways. .I was back in the drivers seat.. Literally and other wise… taking control of one’s life is the same as driving.. Its scary only in the beginning.. Once u realize the steering wheel is in your hands, the sense of responsibility is refreshing.. just 2 days back on that Friday evening I was low on self confidence .. but 2 days is more than enough to change one’s tracks back to right place.. I feel refreshed, happy and in control.. Just like I was around 2 years back :)

Comments

prem sajani said…
blog was too good,nice,inspiring,humorous,rejunavating....hey did I miss any of d words you told me to write out here???
lol!!!
jokes a part now coming to blog!!
sush rocked as alws..this multiple disorder sush is finally taking steps to 'become positive'and gaining her confidence back..good :)))keep attacking ur bad mood by doing things like this..hope to see same old sush who used to be flooding with energy and confidence..all the best:)))
FlyingHigh said…
Ok, so I am going to do something about my license now. I have been putting it off for too long. And yes before that I plan to learn how to drive. Maybe you could teach me, heck you should take taht car out more often and take me around. Lets go!
KB said…
the positive energy in ur blogs are very contagious! hope somethin interestin happens to my mundane n borin existence on this planet
hi .....Sushma......really liked ur blog........an inspiring one...and one thing i would definitely like to mention...while reading ur blog 'back in the driver seat' it seemed like cherishing my own varied experiences...of learning driving. The whole gamut of emotions felt after driving independently for the first time was more out the triumph that i had achieved over fear, anxiety and my underconfidence....:-)
This comment has been removed by the author.
@flying high- yes you should get your license done. driving is not that big a deal. u know driving! all u need to do go and sit in the drivers seat and drive in front of the RTO inspector who will issue the license! and then LETS GO!! 2 is always better than one! :)

@Kb- Things dont happen. we should make them happen. Atleast try. so lets see you trying to be happy now. come on.

@aparna- thank you! :) yes very true, the feeling is awesome!:))

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